Blimey…I’m so busy!

Well what can I say, I could apologise for not having been on my blog for yonks but Ive been busy……being ALIVE.  Which is something Im not used to.  Its great to feel alive again. Its been a LONG time of hiding indoors, not speaking to anyone and feeling so departed from the world around me.

Im starting to feel more confident. Its a slow process and I have been easily knocked back to the beginning with fear.  I know now that when someone speaks to me that I will probably hear them. Probably being the word, there is still the trying to work out accents and Im not great when there is lots of background noise. Im still using lip reading, dont expect I will ever not.  Clearvoice is being used a little bit more. You still have to spend time explaining to people how I hear and what I hear. I somehow thought I wouldn’t have to do so much explaining with this thing in my head. Its so much more complex to explain about than hearing aids. Its happy explaining rather than pissed offness from hearing aids. Some people I will never hear, you forget that some folk are just quiet and no one else can hear em either.

 

Had a wonderful weekend with 2 cochlear implant pals. The girls came over to my place and we talked and talked and talked some more. So good to hang out with folks who you dont need to explain anything to. We had a amazing morning being C.I free and communicated wonderfully with each other. That was really great and hard for others to understand. I was sad to see em off on the ferry, the weekend just went to quick!  Will be meeting up again soon for more yaking.  Inverness here we come.

 

Learning about people is a whole new ball game for me. Its as much as a learning curve as getting my C.I….if not even more! It amazes me at 40 years old that people are the way they are. It shows me how much  I have been so… insular.  I am naive in the world of hearing but can tell body language from 100 yards.

 

I was very brave and signed up for a 2 day short film workshop at our local art centre, the Burgh Hall. Typically it was THE MOST AMAZING weather we had had for….years and there I was inside!  The workshop was fantastic, I really enjoyed myself and as much as I couldnt hear everyone all the time, I got by. I didnt feel worried or scared. If you look up We Are Northern Lights on the web you might still find it. Its going to be a film in the end. Hopefully my submission will get through but there are a lot. Will look forward to seeing the final film when it hits the big screen. I had never done video before, its fun! I would love to be able to do a  film about my C.I and how it sounded with my H.As to how it sounds now…..Anyone interested!!

Ohhh I heard the cuckoo…..only been waiting 2 year and another 20 before that!! Everyone else seemed to be hearing them and I was getting a bit peeved that I hadnt. So one day up the top of the drive awaiting the fish man to come by I heard it… cuckoo cuckoo oh wowweeee heehee at long last. Happy me.  The dog and I go for a walk over the fields, I hear cuckoo again and then to my amazement I saw it on the power lines, I charge of to try and get a picture, it kept me at a distance and flew off ever time I tried to get near. I listened for a long time, oh what I great sound folks 🙂

I HEARD the cuckoo….

 

I am still amazed every day when I put my C.I on that I hear so much. Its over bearing in the morning and I like to stick to the clock then after a few minutes  the radio can go on.

I havent had it in this morning while I type this, Im having ear out time.

A month or so ago I went down for another map, didnt really need it but had the appointment so thought should use it.  I shouldn’t have changed my setting I was happy with the way they were. Ended up that they had to send me another processor a few weeks later with my old map on, back to happy after that. Small changes make a big difference.

I have been switched on fer 1 year and 9 months, just about. Time flies and to think 2 years ago I was so scared about the future with a cochlear implant, the op and everything. This is the best decision I have ever made in my life. I am not in limbo anymore.

The only sad part is that my dog is coming to the end of her time. She is 13 years old and has been my ears from the minute she arrived with us.  Never had any deaf dog training, she picked it up herself and spent her life by my side, guiding me.  That dog has got me through many a dark time. I will miss her more than anyone can imagine, when she goes. We know time is short, her legs dont work to well, her hearing has gone and her eyes are foggy. She is my best friend.

 

 

 

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~ by cyborginafield on June 10, 2012.

One Response to “Blimey…I’m so busy!”

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